Chuck and Sarah versus McClintock!
by Liam2
Summary: The title should be self-explanatory. And to shock you all, this fic isn't the usual Liam perversion, but rather a fluff piece. I know, I'm just as stunned as you.


Yeah, so I watched McClintock a couple days ago. It seemed only natural that Sarah would be a fan. You guys better savor this, because this thing is pure fluff, and you guys should know, I don't write much of it.

As for "Road to Innocence", I've resumed work on it, full press. I'm hoping to send out my draft of Part 20 to Bill for review in the next couple of days, with posting early next week. Oh, and expect Fight Night, Round 2 sometime this weekend, perhaps along with Part 7 of Sarah the Vampire Slayer.

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Chuck and Sarah versus McClintock!

By Liam

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It was a Saturday night. Movie Night. Ellie had announced the plans two weeks ago, stating flatly that Chuck and Sarah were joining her and Devon for the evening. There would be no acceptable excuses why they couldn't be present, shy of hospitalization or death.

When it came time to decide who would choose the movie, Sarah's name was plucked from the hat. To Chuck's surprise, she stated there was a movie she hadn't seen in quite some time and she wanted to bring it. When asked, she refused to divulge the title.

Dinner was fantastic. Ellie made homemade lasagna and the related fixings. She took Sarah's ravenous response – the blonde practically inhaled her portion – as the sincerest compliment.

"Did ya even taste it?" Chuck asked.

"Yes," Sarah defended. "I can't help it, it's so good. I'm just glad I don't live here. I'd weigh two hundred pounds."

Chuck raised his napkin to Sarah's mouth. "Ya got a little somethin'..." He swabbed a bit of tomato sauce from the corner of her mouth. Their eyes momentarily locked. Sarah quickly turned away, a slight blush coloring her cheek.

Across the table, Ellie squealed on the inside. Devon couldn't decide whose reaction he was more amused by, his wife's, Sarah's, or bro-in-law's.

Chuck nervously cleared his throat. "So, you finally gonna reveal your movie selection?" Sarah merely smiled mysteriously.

Wine glasses were refilled. The party vacated the dining room and parked in the living room. Much to their protests, Sarah still wouldn't disclose her movie choice, discretely popping the DVD in the player.

"It's a good movie, I promise."

"It's not an artsy-fartsy French film, is it?" Chuck asked. "Or something featuring chipmunks?"

"Nope. This movie is without French and most definitely without chipmunks."

The DVD title menu appeared. Three sets of curious eyes turned to Sarah as she sat beside Chuck. "It's a good movie," she defended again. She then leaned into Chuck's side. It wasn't like she was cuddling with him, but if he wanted to throw his arm around her shoulders...

"I didn't know you liked John Wayne movies," Chuck said.

"I don't. Only this one," Sarah said.

The movie started playing. John Wayne and Maureen O'Hara in "McClintock!". The story of a cattle baron and his estranged wife, based loosely upon William Shakespeare's "The Taming of the Shrew". Or so Sarah claimed.

It took only a few minutes to discover this movie, at least for Sarah, was comparable to some of Chuck's favorites such as "Empire Strikes Back", "Monty Python and the Holy Grail", or "Office Space". Meaning this movie was apparently quite quotable.

**"_Makes seven times this month he's come home swoggled,"_**Sarah mimed.

**"Six."**

**"Seven!"**

**"_Six! Once was his birthday. That don't count."_**

Chuck glanced over Sarah's head to Devon and Ellie, who were snuggled together on the other couch. They were both smiling at him.

"This is what it's like to watch "Star Wars" with me, isn't it?"

Ellie nodded once, emphatically, but her silly smile was still in place. Her brother and Sarah were so cute...

**"_Don't say it's a fine morning or I'll shoot ya!"_**

"Oh!" Chuck exclaimed. "That's why you always tell me that."

"Ssshhh!" Sarah said. When she settled back down, her head was more firmly nestled on Chuck's chest.

**_"I'm sorry Katherine - that Katie just slipped out from times when I remember you as being nice people..."_**

**_"Are you going to stand there with that stupid look on your face while the hired help insults your wife?"_**

**_"He can't help it - he's just ignorant. He doesn't know any better than to tell the truth. And I can't help this stupid look. I started acquiring it as you gained in social prominence!"_**

Chuck nearly jumped from his seat at a startling sound. It was giggling, fervent and joyous. And it was coming from the blonde bundle burrowing into his chest.

**_"Why you animal!"_**

"_**Half the people in the world are women. Why does it have to be you that stirs me?"**_

Sarah sighed and grinned like a big dope as John Wayne laid a big old smooch on Maureen O'Hara.

A little while later, Sarah cried out "Oh!" and quickly sat up. She perched on the edge of the couch in anticipation. "Here comes the best part!"

_**"Now, we'll all calm down!"**_

_**"Take it easy, boss, he's just a little excited, that's all."**_

"_**I know, I know. I'm gonna use good judgement. I haven't lost my temper in forty years, but pilgrim you caused a lot of trouble this morning, might have got somebody killed... and somebody oughta belt you in the mouth. But I won't, I won't. The *hell* I won't!"**_

Sarah burst into uncontrollable laughter as John Wayne belted the guy across the jaw, sending him sprawling down a mudslide. By now, she was the only one watching the movie. Everybody else found it much more amusing to watch _her_**.**

She giggled nearly to the point of hyperventilation as Maureen O'Hara plucked a feather from her hat and began stabbing people in the butt with its sharp barb.

"_**Swell party, but no whiskey! We go home!"**_

"Oh! And that's where you get _that _line from."

"Ssh! I won't tell you again."

**_"You know, if we had any moral character, we wouldn't be standing here covered with mud drinkin', when we should be washing."_**

Sarah readjusted on the couch. She lay down, putting her head in Chuck's lap. Chuck didn't know how to react at first. He eventually found the courage to stroke Sarah's head, running his fingers through her hair. From her content sigh, it was an acceptable gesture.

**_"Oh you poor dear!"_**

**_"Poor dear? You'd a had me shot in cold blood. Yelling I insulted you and all. What you need is a good spanking."_**

**_"Daddy?"_**

**_"Leave me out of this."_**

**_"And I think I'll give you what you deserve!"_**

**_"You wouldn't dare!"_**

John Wayne slipped a small iron shovel into the young man's hand. Sarah erupted into a new laughing fit as his daughter got a spanking. Her laughter was so hard, the vibrations traveled up Chuck's leg, into his stomach and chest, giving him a warm, content feeling. He continued to gently brush her hair with his fingers, savoring the moment. He'd never seen her like this before...like a regular girl enjoying a movie she loved.

**_"You women are always raising hell about one thing when it's something else you're really sore about. Don't you think it's about time you told me what put the burr under your saddle about me?"_**

"This is the best part," Sarah said. She chewed on her thumbnail so adorably, a happy little smile on her lips.

"I thought the mudslide was the best part," Chuck reminded.

"Ssshh!" she insisted. "Stop talking during the movie!" Chuck smiled.

They watched as John Wayne chased Maureen O'Hara all over town. Through Birnbaum's Store where O'Hara brought down the shelves. Up the ladder, which tilted backwards, sending O'Hara splashing into the horse trough. Through the barn, the saloon. Until O'Hara crashed through a window and Wayne finally caught up with her. He pulled her over his lap and delivered a spanking.

As the movie came to an end, Sarah righted herself, still giggling at the on-screen antics. Chuck mourned the loss of her in his lap.

"So..." she drawled. "What did you think?"

"It was funny," Chuck admitted.

Sarah, however, heard the 'but'. "Yeah?"

"Isn't it kind of derogatory towards Native Americans and women?"

Sarah stared at him over her shoulder, wavy blonde hair dangling before her eyes. She looked...

"Seriously? That's your reaction?"

"Tell me I'm wrong," Chuck challenged.

Sarah scoffed. "Weirdo."

Chuck used his best John Wayne voice to say, "Don't you think it's about time you told me what put the burr under your saddle about me?"_  
_

"You sound like a moron," Sarah insisted.

Continuing with his John Wayne: "I can't help this stupid voice. I started acquiring it as you gained in social prominence!"

Sarah reached into her popcorn bowl and grabbed a handful. She flung it in Chuck's face, popcorn going everywhere. Chuck huffed dramatically.

"Watch it, pilgrim," Chuck continued. "Or I'll give you what you deserve."

Sarah mock glared. "You wouldn't dare."

Chuck unleashed a voracious tickle attack. Sarah collapsed to the couch, trying desperately to shield herself. But she was giggling so hard...

"I'll kill you!" she gasped. "I swear I will!"

Sarah rolled onto the floor with a heavy thud. Chuck continued his unrelenting attack. Sarah scrambled to her feet and ran towards the kitchen. Chuck pursued.

Devon and Ellie shared a look and a smile. They jumped up and followed.

Sarah circled around the table. She grabbed the salad bowl and slung the contents at Chuck. He dodged leaves of lettuce and bits of cucumber. He pressed onward.

Sarah kept circling. She grabbed a handful of breadsticks from a bowl and tossed them like throwing knives, but the bread bounced harmlessly off Chuck's chest. He wouldn't be denied.

"You know, if I had any moral character, I wouldn't be standing here covered with salad, when I should be washing!" he declared.

"You're a brute!" Sarah shouted back.

She raced away, into the hallway. Chuck followed and saw her turn into the master bedroom. Before she could lock the door, Chuck pushed it open. He swept into the room in grand, John Wayne fashion.

"Half the people in the world are women. Why does it have to be you that stirs me?" Chuck demanded to know.

Sarah rolled across the bed, going for the window. She tried to unlock it and slip out, but Chuck's arms wrapped around her.

"What you need is a good spanking!"

She squealed as Chuck spun her around and hauled her towards the bed. She spotted Devon and Ellie in the doorway, watching them, big smirks plastered on their faces.

"Help me!"

"Leave us out of this," Devon said.

Chuck sat down on the bed and pulled Sarah into his lap. He raised a hand high, ready to deliver a resounding shot to her rump.

Suddenly a hand clutched his wrist. He turned to find Devon there. His bro-in-law placed a rolled up magazine in his hand.

"Thanks," Chuck said. Devon merely tipped his cap.

Chuck delivered a series of swats, Sarah flailing wildly in his lap, laughing madly, and threatening his life.

"I'll kill you! You know I can!" She couldn't catch her breath after that, the laughter bubbled out of her.

In the doorway, the newlyweds watched. "It's a good thing they're only playing," Ellie said. "I have a feeling Sarah could give Chuck a fight."

"You have no idea," Devon knowingly informed his bride. "You have no idea."

Sarah finally rolled off Chuck's lap into the floor. She grabbed onto his collar and pulled him down with her. Smiling, trying to catch her breath, she said, "G.W.'s record was 310 without a miss. Think you can top it?"

"I'll try," Chuck grinned. He pressed his lips to hers, a soft kiss. "There's one."

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In his apartment, John Casey watched the revolting scene on his surveillance monitor.

"Idiots," he grunted. He continued to clean his Sig Sauer and watch a _real _John Wayne movie, "True Grit."

THE END


End file.
